


Redrum is 'I Love You' Spelled Backwards

by noonaofdarkness



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fake Gore, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7827625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noonaofdarkness/pseuds/noonaofdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun makes the most of the Halloween season by repeatedly scaring the crap out of his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Redrum is 'I Love You' Spelled Backwards

**Author's Note:**

> Another Halloween drabble in the same verse as Bite Me. You may want to read that first, but you don’t have to (it’s just smut anyway).

* * *

  
As much as Baekhyun enjoyed their little biting session last Saturday, he’s not going to let Chanyeol off the hook for making them late so easily. He’s got a few days left until Halloween, and he’s resolved to exact his revenge by scaring the crap out his boyfriend as many times as possible between now and then.

Taking cues from his favorite horror movies, Baekhyun designs a series of pranks stretching across the week -- each a little more terrifying than the last. He swings by the Halloween shop Monday after work to purchase a few necessary supplies. From there, he’s all set for a week of faux terror and laughs at Chanyeol’s expense.

(Chanyeol’s about as naturally jumpy as a hamster, so Baekhyun thinks it should be a rather easy task.)

 

 

Baekhyun starts off simple on Tuesday morning; just a little warm-up prank, a subtle declaration of impending spooky doom.

He pads into the bathroom before Chanyeol has woken up with a tube of dollar store red lipstick in hand. He gracefully crawls up on the sink counter and scrawls “Redrum” across the length of the mirror in his best creepy handwriting. He takes a quick picture on his cell phone before continuing with his morning routine.

He’s about halfway done with his breakfast when he hears Chanyeol stirring from the bedroom, eventually making his way into the bathroom.

Baekhyun waits.

“Why is there gibberish written across the mirror, Baek?” Chanyeol asks sleepily as he pads into the kitchen a few minutes later.

“Red Rum, Red Rum!” Baekhyun does his best impersonation of a creepy little girl while staring at Chanyeol with dead eyes, trying to jog Chanyeol’s memory.

“You sound deranged,” Chanyeol laughs with a mixture of confusion and amusement, missing the reference entirely. He’s obviously not yet fully awake.

“You’re not even a little scared?” Baekhyun pouts, voice returning to normal.

“Of what? You sounding like you have a cold while babbling nonsense? Should I be?” Chanyeol questions, moving over to the cupboards and turning his naked back to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun huffs, “It’s not _nonsense_ , Chanyeol. I’m saying ‘red-rum.’”

“What does that even mean?” Chanyeol asks as he opens the cereal cabinet and begins his daily debate between Captain Crunch and Frosted Flakes.

Baekhyun gives up. “It’s ‘I love you’ spelled backwards,” he says sarcastically.

The sarcasm goes right over Chanyeol’s head as looks over from the cereal cabinet with a sleepy but content smile on his face, “Aw, I love you too babe.”

 

It’s an entire forty minutes later when a much more awake Chanyeol stomps up to him in the living room. He’s holding a post-it note covered in messy English scribbles of ‘redrum’ written backwards and forwards.

“ _Murder_ most definitely does not mean _‘I love you._ ’”

 

 

On Wednesday, Baekhyun kicks things up a notch. He decides to target sleepy Chanyeol once again, since he isn’t pleased with the previous day’s reaction -- or lack thereof.

Baekhyun realizes there’s a reason so many horror scenes take place in bathrooms: people are most vulnerable while naked and distracted by their own bodily functions. He chuckles to himself as he pulls a print-out from a nondescript work folder (he’d sneakily used his office’s color printer the day before just for this moment). He kneels down in front of the toilet and breaks off two pieces of scotch tape before placing the image on the underside of the toilet lid.

Once everything is in place, he cocks his head to the side and admires his work before closing the lid quietly and turning his attention to the shower.

He gets up and makes his way into the kitchen to start the pot of morning coffee (not that Chanyeol will need it if everything goes to plan).

 

Baekhyun’s just pouring the steaming coffee into his mug when he hears a very undignified shriek from the bathroom.

He smirks, relieved that Chanyeol is always punctual with his morning piss. He sips his coffee smugly and waits.

It’s not a full minute later when he hears the anticipated grumpy footsteps approaching the kitchen.

“Good morning!” He greets sweetly, as if he isn’t the one responsible for the very colorful string of obscenities he -- and likely their neighbors -- just heard echoing from the bathroom.

“You taped a picture of Moaning Myrtle to the underside of the toilet lid?” Chanyeol huffs, walking into the kitchen, holding the print-out in one hand, no trace of amusement on his face.

“She just wanted to keep you company…” Baekhyun says innocently before taking another sip of his coffee  -- batting his eyelashes at Chanyeol over the rim of the mug.

“She nearly made me tug my own dick off in fright,” Chanyeol counters, lips drawn in a hard line.

Baekhyun bites his own lip to hold back another laugh, but it’s no use.

“You’re an asshole.” Chanyeol grumbles. He sets the picture of Myrtle face down on the counter.

“But you love me anyway,” Baekhyun singsongs as he passes Chanyeol a cup of coffee. “You know it was a little funny too. Don’t lie.”

Chanyeol’s expression shifts to one of challenge before he steps closer to Baekhyun, nearly pressing him back into the counter.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve heard you say on more than one occasion that you also love my dick. So if you appreciate it at all, _stop putting it in danger,_ ” Chanyeol warns before taking the cup and disappearing into the living room.

Baekhyun smiles fondly at Chanyeol’s retreating form. He’s kind of hot when he’s all riled up. Especially when he’s only a pair of boxers and still in his glasses.

Baekhyun also decides against warning Chanyeol about the picture of Regan from _The Exorcist_ that he taped to the inside of the shower curtain  -- at exactly Chanyeol’s eye level.

 

 

Baekhyun schedules his next ambush for Thursday evening. Once again, he chooses the bathroom as the location since Chanyeol prefers to shower in the evenings.

They order Chinese takeout for dinner and curl up on the couch to watch _the Grudge_. Baekhyun loves horror films, and even though Chanyeol is a little squeamish, he enjoys them enough to indulge Baekhyun every now and then. It’s pretty easy to pass off his movie choice as nothing more than a fitting selection for Halloween, and Chanyeol doesn’t seem the least bit suspicious.

After they’re done eating, they cuddle for the remainder of the movie -- Baekhyun with his head in Chanyeol’s lap and Chanyeol mindlessly carding his fingers through Baekhyun’s dark hair. He occasionally drops snarky comments about Sarah Michelle Gellar’s stupidity for staying in the house after the first run-in with Toshio and Baekhyun bites his thigh defiantly each time.

When the ending credits begin to roll, Baekhyun raises himself from his comfortable position to turn off the TV. He then excuses himself to the bedroom to ‘get ready for bed’ with a quick kiss to Chanyeol’s forehead. Chanyeol follows him up soon after and pads off to the bathroom for his evening karaoke session disguised as a shower.

Baekhyun waits until he can hear Chanyeol’s singing before he runs over to grab his bag of costume makeup from the atop the dresser. Tonight Chanyeol’s chosen an endearingly off-key rendition of “Your Body is A Wonderland” and Baekhyun laughs to himself at the image of Chanyeol lathering himself while singing the lyrics with passion. That’s his boyfriend, he thinks proudly.

He quickly applies as much white paint to his face as possible, rubbing it in haphazardly before messily smearing black eyeshadow all around his eyes. He doesn’t have to get it perfect, and he knows that -- just enough to make Chanyeol squeal in fear. When his face is complete, he produces a cheap long-haired black wig from another bag and pulls it over the top of his head.

Baekhyun smooths the wig hair down a bit before deeming himself ready. He leaves the makeup strewn across the floor in a mess and quickly tiptoes towards the bathroom.

Chanyeol always showers with the door open, making Baekhyun’s stealthy approach all the easier. For a moment he considers flickering the lights for added effect, but he decides against it. He needs the element of surprise for this to really work.

Chanyeol has just gotten the the bridge when Baekhyun approaches the shower curtain.

He draws a breath before tugging the slower curtain open in one swift movement, and letting loose the most blood curdling scream possible.

Poor Chanyeol had been in the middle of shampooing his hair, it appears. He shrieks almost immediately as he curls backwards in fright (it’s just as high pitched as Baekhyun had imagined). Chanyeol’s hands curl into little fists as he waves them in front of himself helplessly. Unfortunately, he slips a slightly in his retreat and bangs his head on the wall behind him -- but not before passing directly under the stream of water, sending the shampoo in his hair streaming down into his eyes.

“Your body is a -- _Fuck I’ll use my hands_!” Chanyeol screams as all the chaos unfolds. (In a pitch Baekhyun didn’t know was possible for that voice to reach.)

“Well that’s an expletive I’ve never heard before,” Baekhyun snickers as he looks at his helpless boyfriend, flailing around with all the coordination of a sleepy toddler on a trampoline.

Chanyeol’s eyes are still squished shut in a mixture of fear and pain as he tries to blindly right himself against the tiles of the shower wall.

“Jesus fucking Christ Baek, when I can see again I am going to _kill you,_ ” Chanyeol says. It would probably be more threatening if his eyes weren’t pressed shut in such a cute way. Baekhyun looks on in amusement.

“That really hurt,” Chanyeol continues to whine, pitifully rubbing the spot where his head had collided with the wall.

“At least no harm befell your dick,” Baekhyun consoles quickly.

Despite the fact that he’s still laughing, he does feel a teeny bit bad about Chanyeol bumping his head, that wasn’t part of his plan. So, he steps into the shower -- still fully clothed and in costume -- to reach up and soothingly rub his boyfriend’s injured head.

“I _am_ sorry about your head, though,” he whispers caringly. Chanyeol can’t see that he’s still smiling in amusement when he pulls his boyfriend’s head down gently to place a delicate kiss against the part of his skull that hit the wall.

The remaining shampoo leaves a bitter taste against his lips as Chanyeol releases a contented groan. Sensing that Chanyeol has calmed down a bit, Baekhyun decides move his lips to his boyfriend’s wet jaw, delicately laying kisses until he reaches his mouth. He traces his fingernails along the dip of Chanyeol’s spine, admiring the smooth flesh.

Chanyeol doesn’t hesitate to kiss him back earnestly -- kisses are always a great way to distract him -- and soon they’re engaged in a liplock that’s as comforting as it is arousing. It’s when Chanyeol moves his hand to run through Baekhyun’s hair that they both remember the wig Baekhyun is still wearing.

Baekhyun giggles against Chanyeol’s lips, imagining how silly they must look right now; one of them completely naked with shampoo suds still dripping from his hair while the other is dressed like the Grudge girl -- his makeup probably melting off his face from the steam of the shower.

Neither really can bring themselves to care too much though, not when they’re caught up in kissing each other silly.

 

 

 

Friday night is the grand finale. Every little prank of the week has crescendoed to this moment and Baekhyun’s going to conclude this week of terror with a bang -- literally. Baekhyun’s practically shaking with anticipation all day.

Since it’s the climax, the prank also involves the most prep time. Baekhyun is thankful that he arrives home from work an hour before Chanyeol as it gives him just enough time to run into their shared bedroom and produce a secret bag of materials from underneath the bed.

He quickly makes his way into the living room and begins to set up the scene. He pours two bottles of fake blood on the hardwood floor, making sure to let it puddle in exactly the right places so that he can place his body on top of it later. Baekhyun has always had a flare for the dramatic, and he gleefully smears the blood into the floor before splattering a little extra around the main puddle.

Once the stage is all set, Baekhyun returns to the bedroom to change his outfit. He’d found a neat costume shirt with two fake bullet holes in the back that should work perfectly.

He’s all dressed with about fifteen minutes to spare, so he turns on the TV and mindlessly watches the news to waste some time.

When it’s within five minutes of Chanyeol’s usual arrival time, Baekhyun gets up to turn off the living room lights. He leaves the TV running both to provide himself some light in the darkness and to add to the eerie vibes he’s going for.

With the lights out and the scene set, Baekhyun lays himself atop the puddle of fake blood. He dips his hand in some of the excess and taps it along his back where the bullet holes are before laying face down towards the apartment door, limp as possible. Time to play dead.

Baekhyun watches the doorway from the floor and waits.

It isn’t long before he hears the chime of Chanyeol entering the door code. When the door handle begins to turn, he closes his eyes and draws one final breath that he hopes he’ll be able to hold in.

He can see the light of the hallway from behind his eyelids before he hears the flip of the light switch and the glow becomes brighter. He does his best not to giggle imagining Chanyeol’s face in this moment.

About five more seconds pass before Baekhyun hears the thump of Chanyeol’s briefcase hitting the floor. Following the thump though, room is completely silent. _Too silent._

Baekhyun peeks one eye open, expecting to see his boyfriend looming over him looking less than amused with his antics.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight before him though, and immediately both his eyes fly open.

Chanyeol standing there in his work suit, eyes blown wide and a look of complete anguish marrs his features. Tears look like they’re threatening to fall from his eyes and he’s shaking like a leaf. He looks so lost, and Baekhyun’s heart clenches painfully in his chest at the sight.

Baekhyun jumps up out of the pool of blood in a panic and runs over to Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol, Chanyeol, it was just a prank. I’m fine,” He says in a rush, grabbing Chanyeol’s face between his hands and forcing him to look at him -- wanting nothing more than to see that painfully far-off look gone from Chanyeol’s face.

“Baek… hyun” Chanyeol utters brokenly, before pulling Baekhyun against his forcefully and holding on to him for dear life.

“I’m okay, it was just a joke. I’m okay,” Baekhyun chants like a mantra. He can feel Chanyeol’s warm tears falling against his hair and his own eyes begin to water -- both from the unfair pain he can feel in Chanyeol’s desperate whimpers and from knowing that he is the cause of it all.

“Why….” Chanyeol pleads desperately, squeezing him even harder. Chanyeol clings to him like he’s afraid Baekhyun’s going to disappear at any moment, refusing to let go.

“I’m sorry, I’m so _so_ sorry, Yeol.” Baekhyun manages to get out. He feels like throwing up, his stomach in complete knots. This has gone so horribly wrong. He’s an idiot. The worst boyfriend in the world.

Baekhyun lets Chanyeol hold him like that for a few minutes as he rubs soothing patterns along his back and whispers words of comfort against his chest. He’s not sure what else he can do other than simply be _there_ and assure Chanyeol he isn’t going anywhere.

When Chanyeol’s heart rate has calmed down, Baekhyun pulls himself away ever so slightly. Chanyeol resists, attempting to hold Baekhyun in place. He manages to separate himself just enough to look at his boyfriend.

Chanyeol’s features are scrunched in a mix of hurt and confusion as he stares down at Baekhyun. Chanyeol then lifts one of his hands to run it along Baekhyun’s cheek so, so delicately -- like he’s afraid Baekhyun might shatter right there in his arms.

“Why would you…?” He whispers, unable to finish the question.

Baekhyun doesn’t have an answer for that anymore. All he has is regret. So instead, he wordlessly guides them over to the couch -- Chanyeol clinging to him tightly all the while, still trembling slightly.

He sits Chanyeol down before curling into his lap. Chanyeol’s arms come to wrap around him in an instant, holding him in place. He’s stopped crying, but Baekhyun can still feel the whimpers that accompany each intake of breath.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun doesn’t think he can say it enough, but he’s going to keep apologizing until life returns to Chanyeol’s eyes. “It was meant to be a joke… I wasn’t thinking about how it would make you feel to walk in on me like that… I thought you would know I was just messing around…” He whispers weakly. The words feel empty because really there is no excuse for putting Chanyeol through that kind of pain and he knows it.

“I just, I don’t ever want to think about that, Baek… about you… like that,” Chanyeol says after a long silence. “I don’t even like the idea of you accidentally hurting yourself…”

“I should have known that, and I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says quietly, nuzzling into Chanyeol’s chest.

They sit there quietly for a few more minutes before Chanyeol speaks up again.

“Why would you ever think that me walking in on you looking dead would be _funny_?” Chanyeol asks. His voice has returned to normal, and it’s music to Baekhyun’s ears.

“I don’t know. We watched _Harold and Maude_ a few weeks ago and they seemed to enjoy it,” Baekhyun tries to say lightly.

“They also went to funerals for fun, Baek,” Chanyeol responds flatly.

“I might have spaced on that detail,” Baekhyun still feels like crap, but he can feel the tightness in his own chest dissipate when Chanyeol releases a weak chuckle and places a kiss to the top of his head.

“How can I make it up to you?” Baekhyun then asks, reaching to take one of Chanyeol’s hands and bring it to his lips.

Chanyeol hums in consideration, “I think you owe me about a week’s worth of cuddles, at least....”

“So long as it’s not all in one go, I can do that,” Baekhyun agrees quickly, smiling reassuringly up at Chanyeol.

“Maybe a few sexual favors thrown in here and there,” Chanyeol concludes. For the first time since he walked in the door that evening, Baekhyun finally sees his boyfriend’s lips curl into a smile. It’s not a full grin, but it makes his heart flutter nonetheless.

“Also perfectly do-able,” Baekhyun agrees with a nod.

“Good. Cuddles begin now.” Chanyeol demands, squeezing Baekhyun playfully.

“Well, if that’s the case, let’s relocate to the bedroom,” Baekhyun suggests gently. He motions to get off the couch, but won’t fully detach himself from until he knows Chanyeol is ready. Thankfully, Chanyeol moves along with him and they both begin the short journey to the bedroom, hands still firmly linked together.

“Baek…?” Chanyeol prompts quietly as they enter the bedroom.

“Hmm?” Baekhyun turns around, concerned that maybe he relocated them too soon.

“Could you… change your shirt first? You’re still all covered in fake blood and it keeps reminding me.” Chanyeol asks sheepishly.

Baekhyun’s lips curl into a sympathetic pout before he presses a reassuring kiss to Chanyeol’s lips.

“Of course,” he whispers, “I’m not getting fake blood on our sheets anyway. Give me a minute to wash up and I’ll meet you in bed, okay?”

Chanyeol nods and leans down to kiss Baekhyun one last time. It’s the lingering kind of kiss, like he isn’t quite ready to let Baekhyun out of his sight just yet.

“I’ll be right back,” Baekhyun reassures, patting Chanyeol’s butt affectionately.

It earns him another smile, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

 

 

It’s only eight thirty in the evening, which is usually way too early for bed. The fake blood is still covering the hardwood floor, but Baekhyun knows that’s a mess he’ll have to clean up later. Comforting Chanyeol will always take precedence to his precious floors. (Chanyeol will always be more precious than his hardwood floors.)

After he’s all cleaned up, Baekhyun returns to their bedroom in his pajamas. Chanyeol has stripped down to only his boxers, and he’s playing with something on his cell phone.

“So I did the math, and a week’s worth of cuddles is 168 hours…” Chanyeol looks up at Baekhyun pointedly.

Baekhyun’s lips curl into a smile and he nods in a worldess agreement. Chanyeol then sets his phone on the nightstand before lifting the edge of the duvet, beckoning Baekhyun to join him.

Baekhyun crawls into bed and it’s only a moment before Chanyeol has curled himself into Baekhyun’s side with his head resting against his upper chest.

“I love you, Chanyeol and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” Baekhyun whispers into Chanyeol’s hair.

“I know,” Chanyeol kisses his chest. “I forgive you. Someday we’ll probably laugh about this… but please Baek, no more pranks. Okay?”

“Okay,” Baekhyun agrees before he’s reminded of something. “Oh! Don’t open the cereal cabinet first tomorrow morning,” he warns.

“Do I even want to know?” Chanyeol groans into his shoulder, eyes heavy with sleep.

Baekhyun kisses the top of Chanyeol’s head one last time, “It’s probably better you don’t.”

* * *


End file.
